Dating while Schooling

Earlier this month, someone asked about dating while schooling on eGuidebook. And I thought, yes, that's a very pertinent subject to talk about here. If you're a high school or post-secondary student, it's very common for people such as yourself to be smitten while schooling. Natural instincts would urge you to act on that attraction.

If you haven't acted on those instincts yet, then I'll try to speak to the practical side of your brain. Dating is something that requires a lot of time and effort. The investments are temporal, physical and emotional - it will require you to make some sacrifices. You will notice an impact in your ability to perform in some aspect of your life. Your grades may take a hit. You may become distant from your family - become a poorer brother/sister/son/daughter. You may start distancing from your friends. Some combination of the above is going to happen - all of which are somewhat bridge-burning in nature.

So knowing that, if you're still prepared to date, you'll need to manage the change in order to minimize the impacts. Firstly, you have to be very disciplined in your studies. Your grades may take a small hit and still be ok, if you're particularly good student. But ensure that you still meet your own academic expectations. Your family needs to accustomed to the idea that they may see a change in you. So talk to them about what you want to do. They may not be receptive to it and you may need to give that some time and work on your persuasion. As for your close friends, you have to manage their expectations on your time as well.

On top of all this, you have to ensure that you manage the expectations of the person you're dating and also invest enough of yourself to meet or exceed those expectations. Otherwise, the relationship will not last. The pain of a broken relationship is quite intense - probably one of the most debilitating emotions you would have to face as a young person.

From a moral perspective, is it good or is it bad to date while schooling? It's neither. There are goods and bads to dating and not dating. It's a balancing act. If you believe that school is going to improve your ability to provide for your future family, then sacrificing your academics today will diminish your ability to contribute to your long term relationship in future.

Passion

"Passion" has been the faddy buzz word of the decade from my perspective. Lots of people asking "what's your passion?" Still others giving compliments like "he works with passion". And on Monday, I went to this "Passion World Tour". Trying to strike a chord with a buzz word you might think? I think so. I did enjoy it though. So what's with all this "passion" stuff?

I think maybe this is an insight into the hope of the generation in its prime now - the Gen X and Y's. Perhaps passion is really a statement about doing what you really like, experiencing, working in a field you really enjoy, or just being in your own element.

For me though, I find this word somewhat frustrating. Most of us can't spend our lives living out what we enjoy, working in a field that matches our element. It's just not possible. There are jobs out there that just aren't desirable jobs. Think about all those jobs you don't want to have. Can anyone really be that passionate about those? Yet someone needs to fill those roles. And given the need to feed our families, sometimes we just have to take what's available to us. Sometimes responsibility far outweighs our passion.

So as much as everyone wants to be "passionate" about something and do something about it, I think it's still ok even if you can't. If you are doing what it takes to support your family and those you love, that's passionate enough to care for others.