Dating while Schooling

Earlier this month, someone asked about dating while schooling on eGuidebook. And I thought, yes, that's a very pertinent subject to talk about here. If you're a high school or post-secondary student, it's very common for people such as yourself to be smitten while schooling. Natural instincts would urge you to act on that attraction.

If you haven't acted on those instincts yet, then I'll try to speak to the practical side of your brain. Dating is something that requires a lot of time and effort. The investments are temporal, physical and emotional - it will require you to make some sacrifices. You will notice an impact in your ability to perform in some aspect of your life. Your grades may take a hit. You may become distant from your family - become a poorer brother/sister/son/daughter. You may start distancing from your friends. Some combination of the above is going to happen - all of which are somewhat bridge-burning in nature.

So knowing that, if you're still prepared to date, you'll need to manage the change in order to minimize the impacts. Firstly, you have to be very disciplined in your studies. Your grades may take a small hit and still be ok, if you're particularly good student. But ensure that you still meet your own academic expectations. Your family needs to accustomed to the idea that they may see a change in you. So talk to them about what you want to do. They may not be receptive to it and you may need to give that some time and work on your persuasion. As for your close friends, you have to manage their expectations on your time as well.

On top of all this, you have to ensure that you manage the expectations of the person you're dating and also invest enough of yourself to meet or exceed those expectations. Otherwise, the relationship will not last. The pain of a broken relationship is quite intense - probably one of the most debilitating emotions you would have to face as a young person.

From a moral perspective, is it good or is it bad to date while schooling? It's neither. There are goods and bads to dating and not dating. It's a balancing act. If you believe that school is going to improve your ability to provide for your future family, then sacrificing your academics today will diminish your ability to contribute to your long term relationship in future.