The Stress of Success

Our parents usually encourage us to do our best or to be the best we can be. In either case, they are thinking for us out of love. Sometimes, this encouragement leads to expectation and expectation leads to pressure. Before you know it, you're forcing yourself to always achieve the results that you know your parents will be proud of, to the extent that you start to expect it of yourself. That's ok if you never miss the mark...

Quite a significant number of very gifted youth become so accustomed to achievement, success, and victory over a long period of time that when they finally don't meet their mark, it becomes a catastrophic failure. The disappointment is so vast that some have committed suicide.

So why does this happen? I'm not too sure but I think the original expectation was set by parents in most cases. Perhaps success brings so much positive reinforcement that it becomes the child's raison d'etre. Maybe there is such a thing as too much of a good thing.

So here are my tips for parents just based on observation. Although encouragement is good, I think it's equally important to assure your children that if they fail, it's not the end of the world and they can still recover. Maybe recognize effort more than results and help your child deal with setbacks rather than condemn them. After all, the people who succeed in life are those that are able to adapt to what life throws at them.

If you are a youth who feels the pressure of achievement, then maybe it's time to discuss this topic again with your parents. Be aware that failure is a learning experience. The only way to learn to cope with failure is to experience it. In future, there will come a time when you miss the mark and it's totally out of your control. Be prepared to adapt and recover from it.

Lastly, if you have just experienced the biggest disappointment of your life because you missed the mark, take a deep breath and a step back. It's time to count your blessings. Calm down. Pray. Then, think about how you can live with or recover from your setback.