Wedding Planning Gotchas

In spite of the countless number of resources for wedding planning, there always seem to be some nasty gotchas that still catch unsuspecting lovers unaware.

So even if you're following some kind of a wedding plan and you have all the logistics worked out, here are some things that can still come and haunt you.

The Head Table
Particularly if you're marrying into a different ethnicity, it's very important to understand the culture you're marrying into. What's worse, your partner might be as unaware as you are about his/her own culture if they are second generation immigrants. Make sure you clarify with your future in-laws what their expectations are of the seating plan at the head table.

The Seating Plan
I want my friends up front. No, my parents want my relatives up front. You get the idea. You never know what's important to which parties unless you ask. It's better to be aware of this ahead of time rather than publishing a seating plan and distributing it only to find that some parties aren't happy about it. Talk this through with your partner, your immediate family and your partner's immediate family before inking in your seating plan.

Zilla
This is just the most difficult to deal with. Your partner turns out to be a zilla who is anal about some details that ends up butting heads with you, your family, her family and your wallet. Best to manage your partner's expectations way up front... maybe even before getting engaged.

Wedding Day Management
On your wedding day, you will have too much on your mind to have to deal with details. Appoint some managers to handle the details and to manage the hiccups. Make sure all your volunteers know who to go to when in trouble.

Finances
Who pays for what? How do you split the cost or do you split it at all? Also, who takes the monetary gifts? How is it split? Is there a dowry? Make sure you discuss this up front as well.

Famous last words... Most of the gotchas come from poor expectation management. Make sure you discuss expectations with your partner, your future in-laws, and your parents. Do it early and do it often. People appreciate the fact that you're trying to think from their perspectives even if you cannot always accommodate them. Be willing to compromise. Don't hold too many things hard and fast. Pick your spots and stand firm on what's really important to you. Keep in mind that what will benefit you most in the long run is maintaining your family relationships on both sides.